Clingy-ness, a horrific ailment that certain people catch that is terribly unattractive. I'd say it can very quickly become the reason any relationship hits its breaking point. Maybe its just that some people are on a spectrum of how much togetherness that they can handle from their potential significant other as they are getting to know each other and you really mesh the best with someone that is on the same level in the spectrum as you are. Like a rainbow, ROYGBIV, and I'm more of a V while he is more leaning towards R, if that makes an sense at all. As all of my rants, this one has a specific story behind it. I have enjoyed my time with Drake, but all of a sudden after only a few dates he wanted to be officially in a relationship already. It started right after our ice skating and movie dates. Although I can see how he might read things into this situation, I did not mean any overtures by our next outing. My brother, whom I have a semi-rocky relationship with, happened to come to town recently with a girl he has been dating. She is from this area and invited him home with her to her parents home. I barely ever see my brother let alone hear from him so I was shocked to receive a phone call from him right after my movie date with Drake. He told me he was coming to town that weekend and wanted to see me which, of course, I agreed to immediately. Later that week Drake wanted to go out again on Friday. This just happened to be the same evening that my brother wanted to go out to eat. Is it obvious what I did? Yes, I combined the two into one and so we went out on a double date.
It went well and we all had a great time, but I can understand how this was mixing signals with Drake who must have thought "Oh, she wanted to meet a family member already." On my side of thinking, my brother isn't exactly an accurate representation of my family as he tries his hardest to pretend he isn't part of it so I didn't think of it like that. When we got dropped back off at my apartment late that Friday evening, I figured Drake would head back to his place. Not the case. Instead he said he wanted to come up for a bit to "Sober up" (Yeah, okay, sober up. Side note but what guy would use that as an excuse? I had the same amount to drink and I was fine enough to drive even if I was slightly buzzed)...? And this is where we start to have issues. Not only have I spent three lovely days with you this week, which is enough for any couple who has been going out for a couple months, let alone two people that have only been dating for two weeks. But fact is, I just spent three days with you this week...hence I need some space and I've seen enough of you already this week. But he didn't pick up on the hints of, "Are you planning on heading out soon?", so he stuck around for awhile longer and over-stayed his welcome in my humble opinion. Then, when he finally decided to hit the road, he asked me the relationship question. I, in my buzzed and incredibly tired condition, was a bit startled by the question and didn't exactly know how to answer...and eventually just said "Yeah sure, I guess".
Bad idea. Next morning I checked my email and had an email from facebook awaiting me, asking me to confirm my relationship. Okay-seriously? Yet another side note but I'm not much into the facebook relationship statuses and announcing them to the world firstly, but secondly I feel like once you get to a certain age you get over the facebook relationship statuses in general. Or that it would be something you would eventually do after you've been official for awhile but by then it's no big deal. But maybe that's just me...but he is three years older than me so it flabbergasted me. And so I may have slightly hyperventilated because this is just too much. We've only gone out for a short bit and this is extreme. Not to mention that I got a text message shortly after this discovery asking if I wanted to hang out that evening...when I had already hung out with him three times that week. No, thanks.
I rescheduled for the next day and told him I wasn't ready to be that serious just yet and left things at that. I had already promised to go to a big event with him later that week and begin to slightly dread it just because the clingy-ness was starting to stress me out. I ended up having a great time at the event but it was because I didn't spend the whole time with Drake. Not that he isn't a great guy-he's super sweet-it's just that this whole situation just sucks. Perhaps it's because he's in the military and they all seem to take their relationships full force and super fast, but I'm not that kind of person. I like to take my time...take two steps forward and three steps back, test the water a bit. And for me, because of how slowly I like to edge into things, it is only natural that clingy-ness from a guy I'm dating is unappealing and utterly unattractive.
I did, of course, discuss the situation with my Mom (which if you haven't grappled this fact yet, I'm fairly close with her), and she made the point that I would want to be with someone I really really liked that much. It wouldn't seem like they were clingy if I was really into them. And she's right. Maybe I'm trying to make something work here and force something that just isn't right. If it's a chore to see someone then it's not worth it anymore...I should want to spend every waking moment with the person if I was really super interested. And is that so wrong to want that with someone. How nice would it be to want to spend that much time with someone? Some people have that but I've seen so many relationships where I feel like two people do try to force something that just isn't working. But I can't help everyone and in this situation I can help myself...so hopefully everything will work out but I don't think Drake and I will be a match made in heaven by any means.
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