So there's this guy (typical starting point) and he won't take no for an answer when it comes to dating. I met him last fall through a mutual friend and our group of friends have all gone out many times together over the past year. Come spring he asked me out to dinner, which I said sure, thinking it was a group thing like usual. But this time it was just me and him and he ends up footing the bill (which, by the way, I hate that little dialogue when one bill comes out and, if its with a guy and you haven't established your boundaries yet, there's a fight over the bill and complete awkwardness). I had a good time but he was just a friend and I didn't really think anything more. Despite this, he becomes a super textaholic and starts texting me all the time. A day or so later, we are all at a dinner party at his apartment with several of our close friends and he gets more and more touchy-feely. I leave with a bad taste in my mouth, not to mention freaked by the tons of text messages I get from him that week, most after an hour which I would consider unacceptable for two people not in a serious relationship. On a side note, I feel like if you start text messaging a girl after a certain hour, they are more of "booty-texts" than anything else. Which is totally fine, if that is what you want from her and she doesn't have a problem with hook-ups either, but in this situation I'm not okay with any of it.
I was confused; how we could go from a casual dinner to dating and a relationship over night, especially without even discussing it with me? What I really loved is that the friend that introduced me to him said he had started telling people he was in a relationship with me-whaaat?! Isn't there supposed to be some sort of communication between yourself and the girl, in which you discuss whether or not you would like to be in a relationship, and maybe even a small casual dating period before you become super hitched? So it's safe to say I was literally freaked out and running half-way to the other side of the state by now. I texted back when I thought reasonable but usually left the texts where they lay and the next time we all hung out as a group I acted like normal but not overly friendly towards him. I feel as if he eventually got the hint but it took him more than a few weeks to figure it out.
But, every time our group starts hanging out more (we go through phases since everyone is so busy all the time), if I even act a little friendly towards him he starts up again. This has happened several times since the original "dating" incident, and it is hard to want to hang out with him because it happens all the time. I'm not saying he isn't a great guy! He's a good friend and I love when all of us hang out as a group. But there have been times when our personalities have clashed. He is also a serial dater and has a tendency to gravitate towards any girl that shows interest in him, even if she is not romantically interested in him. Even if our personalities clashing wasn't an issue to me (because I feel like even if we decided to date, this would be our breaking point eventually), I don't want to be just another girl to the guy I date. I want to be special and a girl doesn't feel special if the guy is not very selective in the girls he will date. I actually found an article on guys not taking "No" for an answer that I thought was very interesting. It had a lot of good points and it makes you think about not taking "No" for an answer in terms of the psychological and social reasons.
When He Won't Take No For An Answer
My other "fun" tale is from this past weekend. Delilah came to visit me (Yay!!) and we went to a concert and a football game-we were quite busy! She got to meet my crazy family as well. My other "fun" tale is about my family, but also dating. We had to meet up with some of my extended family at the football game. Obviously since Delilah was in town we weren't going to go to their tail-gate or anything, but just meet up with them, since I had company. Well my aunt keeps calling me and bugging me to come to the tail-gate. The first thing that comes to my mind is that she's got something up her sleeve. Well...when she finally finds us, she starts talking about this cute guy at their tale-gate that is single and loves dogs-Bingo! As if my aunt doesn't have her own family to worry about, now she's trying to set me up with random guys at football tail-gates-AWESOME! As I told Delilah, I should have just lied and told them I'm lesbian. It would have solved a lot of future familial issues-maybe they would be less likely to ask ANY questions about my life then because they just wouldn't want to know.
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