What I want to know is how the dating world has become so serious? Okay, okay there’s Hollywood to explain a lot of it. But do you really think that we will be in a relationship after one or two dates. Heck, you barely know one enough to become friends let alone jump into a relationship. I should probably have premised this with a story. After a nice dinner last week with a guy I met on OkCupid, he wanted to meet up again shortly afterwards. I wanted to keep it casual since personally I don’t think you know someone well enough, even after spending a long dinner outing with them, to jump into anything yet. I’m not sure he and I are exactly on the same page though because his suggestion was for me to come over to his apartment to watch a movie. Um, no. How about, in my book, that’s synonymous with hooking up (good luck even defining a “hook up” by the way) and let’s just say that’s not kosher with me.
So I had to take this second meeting into my own hands and steer it towards more neutral grounds. What I really wanted to do, that I figured might be simplest, would be to take our dogs on a walk. I always love doing outdoorsy things, especially with my dog. We finally decided on a time and place and met up at a local park. I had a good time, not overly much, but at the same time we still don’t know each other very well. I hugged him goodbye and left him, and also left any afterthoughts of the date/walk, at the park. But I guess something I said triggered a reaction because the next thing I know I’m hanging out at a friends place looking at a text message he wrote me asking if I was trying to “friend-zone” him. I'm confused...why do we need to rush into anything? So of course I had a semi-nervous breakdown and called the one person who knows everything-my Mom-to explain the situation. She just repeats the same thing-why do you need to rush into anything and why do you need to already label whatever is going on here. And she told me to not bother with texting, just man up and call him tomorrow to explain my feelings.
That’s what I ended up doing though. I called him to basically lay everything out and tell him that we don’t even know each other well enough to charge headlong into a relationship. I mean surely I’m not the only girl that is a bit of a commitment and intimacy phobe. Plus, what’s wrong with being friends with someone before you decide that you’re really interested. Honestly, I’ll bring up my original argument of Hollywood doing a number on a lot of people’s views of dating. Yes I’m sure there are a couple people here and there that happen to have a strong relationship within a short amount of time, but they are few and far between. Most people don’t fall in love over a couple days and if they think they’re in love it’s probably just the hormones and infatuation talking. To cultivate a strong relationship it takes a lot more time to build trust and commonalities. And heck, if you just want to get laid then don’t try dating the girl. So I continue to trudge forward, slightly less optimistic and even more wary than before. But also I continue with a new outlook. The more I try something I’m not very good at (like dating) the more confidence I gain with each new experience. Wish me luck!!
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