An update on my online dating experiment. If you have never checked out one of these websites it is definitely worth a trip. If anything the profiles are comical especially those that use sarcasm or joke throughout the profile. There’s also the profile photos which make me laugh. Is the size of the semi-automatic weapon in your profile picture a compensation for something? Or is it meant to turn me on? Because it definitely doesn’t turn me on and I don’t even want to know the answer to the first question. There’s also the awkward profile pictures of half-nakedness, especially to show off the muscles or the tattoos…as if you’re such a bad ass that you have tattoos. I’d guesstimate that about 25-30% of people in the college-age range has tattoos…which makes you so not a bad ass. Sometimes, in terms of the ‘less is more’, less skin is more appealing because we don’t need to know every little thing about you before we even meet you.
Also what is up with the ‘hey baby, you’re hot’ messages? And that is paraphrasing since most messages that start off like that do not use their autocorrect. Yes, mistyping, grammatical errors, and blunt (chiefly insincere) flattery equals total turn-on. Can you catch the sarcasm? But I guess most would ask me how I could expect more in this particular situation. My response is why should I deserve or expect anything less than the best? It’s not about having a list and someone having to meet certain standards before I’d consider them as a potential mate. That’s shallow and not fair. It’s about the fact that I have seen the love shared between my parents that have been married for over thirty years and I won’t settle for anything less than that.
But this has been an interesting trial of online dating. I’m definitely not getting rid of it yet so hopefully I’ll have some weirder stories in the future to tell. What’s most interesting, from my background in psychology, is the amount of people ready to rush into things. I know, I know, it’s a dating site. But I’m not ready for rushing headlong into something intimate and serious with someone I barely know even if OkCupid rated us an 87% match. I’m not sure if people our age even know what the meaning of dating is anymore. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be serious and you don’t even have to end up in a relationship with the person. Sometimes it’s nice to just get to know someone and chat with them. Having the expectation of a relationship even at the first meeting is a lot of pressure. Not that everyone that uses the site feels this way but perhaps the description of a dating site and the intentions of those using them should be redefined as more of a place to meet people. Those that are on it are up for the potential of a relationship but don’t expect relationships from everyone they meet, even if they hit it off. And if they do hit it off they could just end up being good friends and, in essence, isn’t that how every great relationship should start? These are things that have been running through my head this past week…but I shall keep you updated on how it is all going.
~Robyn Waters
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