Robyn Takes On "Hook-Ups"

What is a hook-up? I was in a psychology course over the summer about Intimate Relationships and this was one of the hardest questions we had to answer during discussions (the hardest one of all was to define love). A lot of people in the late-teens and early 20’s could very well be referred to as the ‘hook-up generation’. People go out to parties or clubs, hook-up with random strangers, and then either move on to the next hook-up or start actually dating the person they hooked-up with. How strange is that-to actually DATE the person that you hooked-up with? But, of course, we must define hook-up first and who knows what that actually is. I guess it always depends on the context it is used in the discussion. At a previous college I attended, these discussions were always held at brunch the next morning after people partook in a long night of debauchery. Most times (or nearly all the time) I didn’t really want to hear about it but some people just don’t take no for an answer…or they ignore the disgruntled look on your face. To be honest, though, how horrifying is it that you could be talking about “hooking-up” with some guy last night and your girlfriends think you actually slept with him when you only smooched? Maybe this is only in terms of girls though; I’m sure most college-aged guys would love it if their friends misinterpreted a make-out session for actual sex. It’s a blanket term that gets used so many times it has lost it’s meaning yet, at the same time, has taken on so many meanings nobody knows what or who to believe anymore. And I go back to my former question about how odd it is that people sometimes end up dating the person they hooked-up with. How backwards is that? And those of us that don’t fit this mold have given up, in some respect, on the dating scene because it is practically nonexistent nowadays. Sometimes a girl just wants to go back to the early 1960’s, with Gidget and Moondoggie, and have some good, old-fashioned fun. No fuss, no frills, and perhaps a bit less apprehension due to fewer expectations from both parties.
But there are no time machines so we’re stuck with what we’ve got. Hence the fact that I’m single…and through with the so-called “dating” of the “hook-up generation”. It’s sheer ridiculousness and women, and yes, even men, deserve better. I know this is sexist but women hold power in the scheme of things during dating. The sooner women give up sex, their power within the relationship diminishes. No, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but honestly how many men will respect a woman who has sex with them after they just met? Or, how many men will respect a woman who they know has hook-up with many other men within a short period of time? It’s not about not ever having sex with your significant other, it’s all about timing…and about avoiding this notorious label of “hook-up”. I feel it can cause serious dampers on strengthening a long-term relationship, and also on the potential for growth (such as eventual marriage). But perhaps people in my generation are no longer concerned with such things and maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time worrying about it either. However, I can’t help but wonder what long term effects said behavior will have…