Liza takes on studying abroad.

The reason (or reasons) that studying abroad is an amazing experience from a slightly intoxicated young woman who has only been at her new UK university for about 3 days.

1) A different teaching style.
This doesn't apply to everyone, I guess. I only have experience with the American and UK versions of higher education, so I can't really be sure. Plus, I have yet to start my course at this particular university. However, going to another country for a term or more can possibly broaden your horizon in teaching styles alone. The US and UK are very similar in many ways, but our college/university systems are much different. The US has adopted a style of structured education that sharply contrasts the UK's personal learning model. In the UK, students are largely responsible for teaching themselves and then proving that they have mastered a topic. Whereas in America, students essentially have their hands held throughout the process (not that I am dissing the American educational system...it has served me pretty well for many years).

2) Experiencing another culture or cultures.
I am currently studying at a university with a large international population. Therefore, I have been granted the opportunity to experience not only British culture, but to absorb the cultures of many different cultures. I have met people from France, Jordan, Kenya, Nigeria, Amsterdam, etc. Each person I meet enhances my experience a little further (or is it farther...?). For instance, I was just invited to share in an French food night and some of us Americans will be reciprocating with a Thanksgiving dinner in November. Seems simple enough, but it really does bridge the gap between cultures.

3) Learning new languages.
Speaking of bridging gaps-- language is essential to a culture. Studying in a country where you don't know the language will force you to learn. Likewise, meeting other international students might inspire you to learn a new language. Meeting international students provides you with people to increase your language skills, whether you need to brush up or invest in a course.

There are tonnes more reasons to study abroad, but I'm far too...let's call it tired to think of anymore.

Robyn Takes On "Hook-Ups"

What is a hook-up? I was in a psychology course over the summer about Intimate Relationships and this was one of the hardest questions we had to answer during discussions (the hardest one of all was to define love). A lot of people in the late-teens and early 20’s could very well be referred to as the ‘hook-up generation’. People go out to parties or clubs, hook-up with random strangers, and then either move on to the next hook-up or start actually dating the person they hooked-up with. How strange is that-to actually DATE the person that you hooked-up with? But, of course, we must define hook-up first and who knows what that actually is. I guess it always depends on the context it is used in the discussion. At a previous college I attended, these discussions were always held at brunch the next morning after people partook in a long night of debauchery. Most times (or nearly all the time) I didn’t really want to hear about it but some people just don’t take no for an answer…or they ignore the disgruntled look on your face. To be honest, though, how horrifying is it that you could be talking about “hooking-up” with some guy last night and your girlfriends think you actually slept with him when you only smooched? Maybe this is only in terms of girls though; I’m sure most college-aged guys would love it if their friends misinterpreted a make-out session for actual sex. It’s a blanket term that gets used so many times it has lost it’s meaning yet, at the same time, has taken on so many meanings nobody knows what or who to believe anymore. And I go back to my former question about how odd it is that people sometimes end up dating the person they hooked-up with. How backwards is that? And those of us that don’t fit this mold have given up, in some respect, on the dating scene because it is practically nonexistent nowadays. Sometimes a girl just wants to go back to the early 1960’s, with Gidget and Moondoggie, and have some good, old-fashioned fun. No fuss, no frills, and perhaps a bit less apprehension due to fewer expectations from both parties.
But there are no time machines so we’re stuck with what we’ve got. Hence the fact that I’m single…and through with the so-called “dating” of the “hook-up generation”. It’s sheer ridiculousness and women, and yes, even men, deserve better. I know this is sexist but women hold power in the scheme of things during dating. The sooner women give up sex, their power within the relationship diminishes. No, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but honestly how many men will respect a woman who has sex with them after they just met? Or, how many men will respect a woman who they know has hook-up with many other men within a short period of time? It’s not about not ever having sex with your significant other, it’s all about timing…and about avoiding this notorious label of “hook-up”. I feel it can cause serious dampers on strengthening a long-term relationship, and also on the potential for growth (such as eventual marriage). But perhaps people in my generation are no longer concerned with such things and maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time worrying about it either. However, I can’t help but wonder what long term effects said behavior will have…

Robyn Takes On A Funeral

Okay so not the most cheery thing to think about on a Saturday but I will anyways. I just got back from a funeral a few hours ago so it is kind of the forefront of my mind. A few days ago I was on facebook (yes the notorious facebook), and I found out that the younger brother of a high school friend passed away. I didn’t know him but my friend and I had shared many years of laughter and good times together and, even if I hadn’t seen her in forever, I wanted to go to the funeral and show my support. To be honest, though, I was kind of dreading it. If there’s one thing that I’ve been to far too many times in my short life, it is funerals. And my heart especially hurt since he was so young and it took me back to high school when a friend of mine died in a car wreck. I was definitely not looking forward to it but when I got there I surprisingly enjoyed myself. Although I’m not overly religious the church that the service was at had a vivacious Christian spirit that cannot be recreated. There was the “Amen” corner and more than a few “Hallelujah’s” by the end of the service…two and a half hours later. But it made me appreciate life all that more. The spirit that all of the people at the service lent to it gave power to the message that even though this boy has left this world in such a sudden way he is in good hands. I appreciated the communion of souls at this sermon that is not often found elsewhere. You don’t have to be Christian or even religious to be grateful for such a service because the point of this story is that it gave peace and comfort to the family and to my friend. When it comes down to it, what else matters but that?

Liza takes on being Peter Pan

Ok, so I'm not Peter Pan, per se. I don't wear tights and hang out with children with weird names like Nibs. I don't think that to die would be an awfully big adventure. I do, however, think that growing up is overrated.

Don't get me wrong-- my childhood was not all sunshine and daisies.  My father left when I was 8 (on my sister's 5th birthday, mind you) and my mom had to work 3 jobs to take care of us. I started working at 14 to buy my own clothes and things. It was a hard time, but other people have harder childhoods. My hatred of growing up doesn't stem from my wanting to stay a child, but my unwillingness to let go of my relationship with my mother. Growing up means moving out and moving on. Moving on from what though? Why should I have to move on from spending hours playing cards with my mom on some random Wednesday night because we feel like it?

I here you all saying, "You can still be close even though you don't live together anymore!" That's somewhat true, but you never have the same relationship with your parents once you've moved away. For some people this is a positive thing, but for others is means the weakening of a relationship they have spent their whole lives cultivating. Also, it's always acceptable for a parent to keep the "oh, that's my baby" attitude, but children are meant to grow out of the "I just want my mom" "phase". Why this double standard?

All this probably makes me seem like an overly-sensitive mamas girl. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm just dreading moving to a foreign country without the woman who made me who I am today. Maybe I have a point. I suspect it's probably a combination of all 3 (or at least the first 2).

Delilah Takes on Liza! But Not the Beloved Triumvirate Liza...

While I massively love Liza Meadows, and could write a whole post singing her praises, alas no, this post is dedicated to...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

LIZA MINNELLI!!!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I, Delilah, will be seeing Liza (that's with a "Z" by the way) this Friday!!! I'm super massively excited. Like, unbelievably. Liza is a goddess to me. I love her for her talents, her amazing resiliency, and her self-deprecating humor. I don't care about her appearances in the tabloids, in fact, I love her more. Don't talk trash about Liza in front of me (and that goes for Meadows too). I will defend her honor. You will get a thorough tongue lashing and perhaps a slap in the face.

If you haven't seen Cabaret, you need to ASAP. She's great in it, and the story is fantastic.

Here's a fantastic example of Liza at her best. The ending is great.

Enjoy!
~Delilah Skye

Robyn Waters Takes On The Infamous "Friend-Zone"...

What I want to know is how the dating world has become so serious? Okay, okay there’s Hollywood to explain a lot of it. But do you really think that we will be in a relationship after one or two dates. Heck, you barely know one enough to become friends let alone jump into a relationship. I should probably have premised this with a story. After a nice dinner last week with a guy I met on OkCupid, he wanted to meet up again shortly afterwards. I wanted to keep it casual since personally I don’t think you know someone well enough, even after spending a long dinner outing with them, to jump into anything yet. I’m not sure he and I are exactly on the same page though because his suggestion was for me to come over to his apartment to watch a movie. Um, no. How about, in my book, that’s synonymous with hooking up (good luck even defining a “hook up” by the way) and let’s just say that’s not kosher with me.

So I had to take this second meeting into my own hands and steer it towards more neutral grounds. What I really wanted to do, that I figured might be simplest, would be to take our dogs on a walk. I always love doing outdoorsy things, especially with my dog. We finally decided on a time and place and met up at a local park. I had a good time, not overly much, but at the same time we still don’t know each other very well. I hugged him goodbye and left him, and also left any afterthoughts of the date/walk, at the park. But I guess something I said triggered a reaction because the next thing I know I’m hanging out at a friends place looking at a text message he wrote me asking if I was trying to “friend-zone” him. I'm confused...why do we need to rush into anything? So of course I had a semi-nervous breakdown and called the one person who knows everything-my Mom-to explain the situation. She just repeats the same thing-why do you need to rush into anything and why do you need to already label whatever is going on here. And she told me to not bother with texting, just man up and call him tomorrow to explain my feelings.

That’s what I ended up doing though. I called him to basically lay everything out and tell him that we don’t even know each other well enough to charge headlong into a relationship. I mean surely I’m not the only girl that is a bit of a commitment and intimacy phobe. Plus, what’s wrong with being friends with someone before you decide that you’re really interested. Honestly, I’ll bring up my original argument of Hollywood doing a number on a lot of people’s views of dating. Yes I’m sure there are a couple people here and there that happen to have a strong relationship within a short amount of time, but they are few and far between. Most people don’t fall in love over a couple days and if they think they’re in love it’s probably just the hormones and infatuation talking. To cultivate a strong relationship it takes a lot more time to build trust and commonalities. And heck, if you just want to get laid then don’t try dating the girl. So I continue to trudge forward, slightly less optimistic and even more wary than before. But also I continue with a new outlook. The more I try something I’m not very good at (like dating) the more confidence I gain with each new experience. Wish me luck!!

Liza takes on Skype.

Skype-- Greatest invention or destroyer of lives?

That seems like a pretty dramatic question, n'est-ce pas? Skype is actually a little of both. Let's examine the pros and cons of Skype, and video chatting in general.

Pro- You can chat with friends and family internationally for free.
Con- These friends and family will likely have to see you in your jammies without makeup on because of stupid, awful time differences.

Pro- Keeping up with people is much easier.
Con- People keeping up with you is much easier.

Pro- When moving away (or just spending time away) from loved ones, you can see the faces you miss so much, thus curing homesickness.
Con- Watching mom cook lunch and play with the cat may also increase homesickness.

Pro- When fate tears you away from someone you love (or tear 3 friends apart *wink wink*) you can still see their face (or faces and talk as a group) without having to run up phone bills.
Con- You may then become so addicted to talking to this person/these people that trying to get through a day without skyping them makes you seriously consider checking into Promises or some other equally as trendy addiction centre.

(Just fyi, this was much longer and wittier before I began an intense battle with UPS over my package and the driver's inability to properly knock on a door.)

Delilah Skye Takes on the Panic-Inducing Process of Putting Herself on the Internet

So as you've probably figured out (unless you're really thick), the Triumvirate has decided to enter into the arena of online dating. I was the last of the Triumvirate to cave and get a profile, because I was feeling hesitant about the whole thing. Everything I've ever learned about online sites comes from my mother's rocky (to put it mildly) journey on various dating sites. The outcomes are never super great, and always lead my mother to pronouncing that men are stupid/assuming/dickish in the middle of our cluttered kitchen. To which I would always sagely nod while eating a piece of cheese, because she was usually right.

When I finally got the profile a world of scariness opened up to me. Within an hour of signing up, I had two messages from a guy saying nothing more illuminating than "Dang you sexy". Aw, thanks. Except no thanks. That's almost as bad as being honked and leered at as you're walking somewhere.

When I finally managed to strike up a conversation with one guy, I had to try and stop hyperventilating with my hands. Which really doesn't work as well as a paper bag, let me tell you. The Triumvirate had to try and calm me down via Skype.

On the site, Okcupid, you can see who has visited your page. Which really sucks. Because it means that I can't be a stalker and not have to worry about the repercussions. Suddenly I'm constantly thinking that I'm being watched. It's like Chuck Woolery-style Big Brother. He's always watching, looking to make a Love Connection. And if you think I'm being paranoid, I'm not. I got a message from a guy saying we should talk. After visiting his profile and determining that I'm not interested in someone who spells "takeing", can't capitalize, and describes himself as "country and proud of it", I didn't respond back. To which I got a second message saying that he saw I checked out his profile and we should talk. Now whenever I look at anyone, I'm nervous about the fact that they can see me looking at them. Awkward.

It's so bad that Liza Meadows refuses to look at the profiles of any of the guys that I'll talk about with the Triumvirate, for fear of being seen back. I seriously can't deal. When I told a friend that I couldn't sleep until 4 am because I was kirking out about this stuff, she told me I was a mess. Which I usually am, but for her to say I'm more of a mess than my usual messiness is really bad. Ask Robyn and Liza, I can sleep through anything. Including drunk Australian ninjas.

One thing I'm really not getting about this whole deal is profile pictures. Most guys do a pretty decent job choosing one, but others fail completely. Guy with a cat in his arms? K. Dude who includes a picture of himself with his back turned to the camera? What are you thinking?! It wasn't even a good picture of his tight butt, it was just him in a suit. Myspace photo dudes? Prove to me that you have friends that will take a picture of you. And last, but not certainly not least, shirtless arrogant guys. Thank you for leaving some mystery. Douche. In a subcategory of this humongous group, I've seen 2 guys with head shots that show just enough to prove that they are shirtless. Why? Put on a shirt for godsakes. I don't take pictures of myself just randomly sitting around in a bra. So don't do the same.

Despite my constant panic attacks and hyper-messiness, I'm trudging forth with this. Wish me luck!
~Delilah

Robyn Waters Takes On Dating Sites...

An update on my online dating experiment. If you have never checked out one of these websites it is definitely worth a trip. If anything the profiles are comical especially those that use sarcasm or joke throughout the profile. There’s also the profile photos which make me laugh. Is the size of the semi-automatic weapon in your profile picture a compensation for something? Or is it meant to turn me on? Because it definitely doesn’t turn me on and I don’t even want to know the answer to the first question. There’s also the awkward profile pictures of half-nakedness, especially to show off the muscles or the tattoos…as if you’re such a bad ass that you have tattoos. I’d guesstimate that about 25-30% of people in the college-age range has tattoos…which makes you so not a bad ass. Sometimes, in terms of the ‘less is more’, less skin is more appealing because we don’t need to know every little thing about you before we even meet you.

Also what is up with the ‘hey baby, you’re hot’ messages? And that is paraphrasing since most messages that start off like that do not use their autocorrect. Yes, mistyping, grammatical errors, and blunt (chiefly insincere) flattery equals total turn-on. Can you catch the sarcasm? But I guess most would ask me how I could expect more in this particular situation. My response is why should I deserve or expect anything less than the best? It’s not about having a list and someone having to meet certain standards before I’d consider them as a potential mate. That’s shallow and not fair. It’s about the fact that I have seen the love shared between my parents that have been married for over thirty years and I won’t settle for anything less than that.

But this has been an interesting trial of online dating. I’m definitely not getting rid of it yet so hopefully I’ll have some weirder stories in the future to tell. What’s most interesting, from my background in psychology, is the amount of people ready to rush into things. I know, I know, it’s a dating site. But I’m not ready for rushing headlong into something intimate and serious with someone I barely know even if OkCupid rated us an 87% match. I’m not sure if people our age even know what the meaning of dating is anymore. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be serious and you don’t even have to end up in a relationship with the person. Sometimes it’s nice to just get to know someone and chat with them. Having the expectation of a relationship even at the first meeting is a lot of pressure. Not that everyone that uses the site feels this way but perhaps the description of a dating site and the intentions of those using them should be redefined as more of a place to meet people. Those that are on it are up for the potential of a relationship but don’t expect relationships from everyone they meet, even if they hit it off. And if they do hit it off they could just end up being good friends and, in essence, isn’t that how every great relationship should start? These are things that have been running through my head this past week…but I shall keep you updated on how it is all going.
~Robyn Waters

Liza Meadows takes on the wild world of internet dating.

As Robyn said a few posts back, she has somehow convinced Delilah and I to join her in her quest to find true love...or whatever.
Ok, so none of us are actually looking for true love or "Mr. Right", but we are all looking for new friends and possibly new relationship prospects. I have no idea how I let Robyn talk me into this... but she brought it up and the next thing I know, I have a profile and 2 messages.

What's wrong with online dating some of you might ask. Nothing, per se, but it just makes you realise how weird the human race can be. Online dating sites are microcosms of society. We just don't always acknowledge that they reveal the world at large. Also, how weird is it to think about meeting your "soul-mate" before MEETING your soul-mate? Its just an odd and daunting concept.

That being said, its an interesting experience. So far I've been messaged by a few guys. I've only made one actual connection. The other have been a bit...weird. Lame jokes are a defence mechanism used by many people. I accept this as a fact. My jokes are often lame, but I don't usually feel the need to crack them in any sort of first contact with someone (unless my first contact involves other people I know). However, the guys on this dating site apparently think that lame jokes are the best way to get a girl's attention.

I'll give you an example: The first message I received from a guy who's username I had never seen before was a message detailing our current breakup. He told me that it wasn't working between us and that he wanted certain effects from the place we apparently shared. At the end, he asked me what I thought of this.
If I had ever "talked" to this guy before, I might have accepted this as a cute little joke because it was in fact rather witty in construction. I cannot, however, take this as a first encounter. It is weird and perhaps a bit creepy to me. It feels like the online equivalent to "Are your legs tired because you've been running through my mind all day." It's just tacky. This same guy just messaged me again (keep in mind I refused to respond to this) and asked why I haven't talked to him. Should I respond and tell him it is because his tactics are nausea inspiring or just let him continue on this path? I haven't quite decided yet.

Not even a week into this adventure and I've already got a few stories. Look out for more.

Robyn Waters Takes On Finally Introducing Herself...

So I never actually introduced myself in my first post but let me tell you all a little about me. I'm a Southerner born and raised, which I'm not sure has anything to do with how I turned out, but who knows. I'm also a senior in college majoring in psychology so I love to study human (and animal) behavior in normal day-to-day life. I, like Delilah, am a huge dog lover but luckily was able to live in an apartment and obtain my own furry companion. Life is not the same without a pet in your life and you have not truly lived until you have loved one. She's a crazy mix of lab and terrier (maybe pit?) and sometimes a bit of a demon dog but it makes my life more interesting.

Being the middle of the Triumvirate I would say I'm a typical balance between the grounded, easy-going Liza Meadows and the vivacious, kooky Delilah Skye. I'm also the one that has been separated from the Triumvirate for the longest this past year but as Liza says, sometimes we have to have our separate adventures especially to appreciate what we have. We will all eventually be able to find a way to make it back together but until then we will chronicle about our separate (and sometimes joint) adventures so hold tight-it's going to be a long and wild ride!

Delilah Skye Takes on Saying Hey

Liza Meadows is completely correct in saying that introductions are trying. The very act is sort of pompous and requires that people examine themselves- which is massive difficult. But hear goes.

I'm probably a bit kooky, slightly obsessive, and dog-crazy. Since I'm at college as a senior majoring in English, I'm separated from my dogs. So I tend to go a bit wacks when a dog wanders across my path. I absolutely love music (and as Robyn Waters and an old musician dude in Amsterdam can contest), I know my stuff. Peeps *Cough, Liza Meadows, Cough* will say that I think I'm always right. False. But when I know my stuff I stand by it.

I'm the youngest of the three of us, but this in no way impedes our mischief. ;)

I'd say I'm:
55% Gay Man Stuck in a Woman's Body
25% Cynical, Jaded, and Bitter at a Young Age
15% Extrovert
5% Homebody

Taking on my senior year is scary, and I'm already full of indie-movie existential doubt about my life. This happens almost every day. And this is the second official day of classes. I'm excited and scared about finishing college, and most days wish that our Triumvirate could be complete again.


But we are amazing, and I know that our friendship will last even though we're on our own separate life-outings.

Liza Meadows takes on an introduction.

Introductions-- always awkward and trying. Its a good thing the three of us no longer believe that first impressions last a lifetime. If we did, we wouldn't be friends.

So, I am Liza Meadows. Liza the nutty, mildly high-strung, wannabe historian. I say mildly high-strung because in everyday life I am easy going and pretty low maintenance, but stress is the big, bad wolf that blows my house of straw down. I am the oldest of the three of us... but let's just pretend that isn't true. I am about to embark on a big adventure--moving to England for a year-- all by my lonesome self. I wish that I could take Robyn and Delilah with me, but life doesn't let you do whatever you want. You have to have your own adventures to make it back to where you want to be. Robyn left us for her adventure only 6 weeks after we met and Delilah took on big, bad Germany without us (for the most part) earlier this year. Its my turn now, I guess.

Not much of an introduction, I know. I never claimed to be good at talking only about myself.

Life is about the journey, not the destination...and you should always have someone (or 2 someones) to share the journey with.

Robyn Waters takes on....

Online dating. I know-it's a crazy taboo topic! Millions of people are doing it but no one really discusses it. Well I thought it would be fun if we all got accounts and tried it out for a week or so. I had learned about this one particular site from some friends that is free called OkCupid and decided to get an account last week. But of course I couldn't keep it a secret from the Nature Triumvirate. Sooo I might have demanded that they get accounts too. And herein starts the craziness of online dating. First off the bat, if you are to try such a thing, you must turn off the IM tool. Who wants random guys that you have never met before and wouldn't know from Adam IMing you? And it's so awkward to try and leave the conversation once you've said Hello. Plus people are always giving out entirely too much information. One guy even told me that talking to me at that moment was making his week especially since he literally almost died last week from a horrific fever. First off, now I'm not only entirely confused as to his motive in telling me this but I'm stuck between feeling sorry for the poor guy and frightened at the sheer fact that he's spilling his guts to me, a stranger, over the Internet.

And of course there's always those one or two interesting and fairly sane individuals wandering around on dating sites too. So I wouldn't say it is all creepers out there on the site because I have talked to a few neat people. I'll even be honest to say I went out to dinner a few nights ago with one guy who I could definitely see myself becoming good friends with. Of course this is after he passed a few crucial hoops to get there. I'd say before you start an account you make distinct boundaries of what's acceptable behavior and what is not. For example, one of mine is that they have to be able to type complete sentences. If a guy sends me a message where he can't even spell "What's up" correctly then perhaps he's not the one for me. Another is no IMing, therefore I turned off that capability on my account. But also common sense rules for your safety such as not giving out personal information like even your phone number until you've gotten to know the guy pretty well.

I will keep everyone updated on my progress over the next couple weeks. You should be hearing from Delilah and Liza soon, though, about their experiences now that they've had their accounts for a couple days.
~Robyn Waters