Robyn Takes On Individuality

I just read an article on Yahoo about impossible dating tips and how, in the end, it is important to be yourself otherwise you'll end up extremely unhappy even if you end up landing a man. And that's so true. How can you be happy if you're constantly changing in order to attract someone of the opposite sex? Yes, you may end up finding someone who is attracted to the person you are temporarily portraying, but it isn't your genuine self. Then you end up in an unfulfilling and unhappy relationship where you have to keep playing a role and lash out at the other person for putting you in this position, and they're unhappy because you end up not being the person you originally claimed to be.

This made me think about the guy I recently dated and how one of the (many) reasons that I stopped dating him was because I felt like I couldn't be myself in the relationship. To be honest, that scared me because I like who I am and I feel trapped and self-conscious if I can't be myself around someone, especially someone who I'm dating or in a relationship with. I think one of the first things that set it off was that he lied about where he met me. We met online which, although I may not tell people that don't know me just because there still is a certain stigma about meeting someone online, I wouldn't lie about it to people I'm close with. Right off the bat he told me that he had told his parents he met me at the bar. Honestly, even if I may go out with my girlfriends every so often to the bar, I'm not typically a girl that any guy would meet at the bar so how is that any better than having met me online. And, on the other side of things, these are your parents who you basically just lied to about the fundamental start of our relationship without which would have never existed. Also, on a side note, it was the first week I had met him so, to me, it was entirely too soon for him to even bring up the fact that he had mentioned me to his parents. I don't care if he did, I don't care if he told them details about our first date, I don't care if he made up details about the bar of our first meeting, but I DO care that he told ME about telling THEM. If you're a guy out there needing relationship advice, PLEASE do NOT mention talking to the parents about the girlfriend or girl you're dating to said girl so soon after the first date. It will just freak her out.

Also, he lied to them on other factors as well, which I found out on another date. When he was apparently telling them about me, they asked him questions (which I didn't want to know any of this, by the way). One of which is if I had a tattoo. He told them no, which he later, smiling at me when I revealed the one on my foot when I took off my shoe to put on an ice skate, he said he didn't know at the time. Although I could understand where this lie was coming from (because he honestly didn't know), I didn't really get how my having a tattoo would have indicated what type of girl I was. Now not only was I freaked out that his parents had an inordinate amount of information about me without my consent, it was also freaking me out because I soon realized they had information about a girl they were never going to get to meet. Not the imagined me nor the real me.

I know there are times where you become friends with or date someone that you respect and look up to because you want to better yourself. You know the type. You become friends with the sweet bookish girl that is in your English class and her influence leads you to actually read the material to discuss over coffee with her. Or you end up befriending and dating the nice religious guy from your intramural team so he can inspire you to go to church with him every Sunday. These are people that you go out of your way to put in your life because sometimes having people you admire and aspire to be can help you become a better person. But, intentionally changing the very essence of what makes you who you are is an empty way to live. It's nice to aspire to be what you believe is "better" than yourself, but it is more important to surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and uplift you. To quote Epictetus: "The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." Don't dim your light for anyone.

Robyn Takes On the Medium

Ok, so I have a confession to make...I watch Bravo...like a lot. I won't always admit to it in mixed company but it's a good channel for background noise (especially during the day when nothing else of interest is playing on any other channel) and I do actually like some of the shows. Like Millionaire Matchmaker which I don't just like, I love, even if Patti can be over the top at times and the millionaires appear to be getting crazier each season. But I'm not wanting to discuss Millionaire Matchmaker, I want to talk about one of the many housewives shows. The one in particular that has been re-running constantly and therefore I am subjected to watching lately even if it is one of my least favorite of the housewives series is the Housewives of Beverly Hills. Mostly because of Camille Grammer but even barring her it is still a bit much most of the time.

I'm not even trying to bash Camille, even if she seems fake especially when she waxes poetically about how kind and wonderful she is but continues to throw lashing comments about Kyle constantly in those interview sessions or to her fellow housewife friends. Kyle's got her kids and a family that she's worried about while Camille's worried about how her fake ta-ta's look to visiting lecherous male family-friends and is running around kissing married men on the lips...in front of their wives. Yet she is wonderful and fabulous (cough, cough, delusion) so I shouldn't say anything bad about her.
My biggest beef with Camille is about a dinner party she hosted at her house, and it isn't even about her but about a friend she invited named Allison DuBois. Years ago I watched some of the television show Medium and really enjoyed it. I learned that it was based on the medium Allison DuBois and thought she seemed like a very interesting person especially with the work she does with the police. When Camille mentioned in one of the interviews that her friend Allison DuBois was coming to dinner, I was excited because we would have an opportunity to see the really medium.

I am sad to say, though, that never before in my life have I been more disgusted with a person. That is saying a lot because I have seen many of the housewives interacting with each other (such as crazy Danielle from the Jersey housewives-unstable much?), but this was horrible. She smoked on a fake cigarette that blows steam out of it and acted stuck up the entire time at the dinner table. I can get that she may have not wanted the guests to ask her about her profession since she was "off the clock" but when you introduce yourself just say your name and don't even mention to people what your job is. Plus, don't down a bunch of cocktails and act psychotic. I'm not saying I doubt her gift, even if some people are mentalists and use their keen senses to read others body language to make it appear as if they have psychic powers. But if you have a gift like she claims to have, don't use it in such a spiteful and malicious way. She started spouting off things like that she can tell people the exact moment they will die and how. How horrible of a person are you? Even if you are capable of doing that, having a gift like that carries burdens and is not to be taken lightly. Obviously you were given it for a reason and I doubt the reason was to spread hate around in this world. If anything it was to bring closure and peace to people. I never imagined the real medium to be so vindictive and she really lost a fan the day she appeared on the housewives. I was expecting someone who would be able to rise above the petty drama that the housewives had going on (and that they even wanted to put behind themselves) not add fuel to the fire. If anything I was hoping, especially when she told her profession, to be able to help the women come together not tear each other apart. Now I think of her as a pot stirrer who knew the exact words to say to make everyone blow up at each other and I'd be ashamed to call that my gift--to read the emotions of others and play with them. No matter what, you should never take someone's word about the character of another person that you haven't met even if it is a close friend. You don't know what is going on in other people's lives and it is unfair to the person you've never met to make judgments based on another person's assessment. I have learned this many times the hard way but I learned these lessons in high school and the first year or so of college. Why hasn't this forty-year-old woman learned it yet? It is heavy to carry so much hatred around with you and it makes me sad to see her wish so much harm to come to people that she barely even knows. She even made a comment about something happening to one of Kyle's children and how, if one of them went missing, she wouldn't help them find the child (because of her powers) even if they begged her to help-how awful! I don't wish her any ill will but it is my sincerest hope that she find some love and light in her heart and life. This world could use more of it, that is for certain.

The Triumvirate takes on New Years

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

(image from http://www.timessquarenyc.org)

I suppose I should have posted this before it was January 1st in more than half the world, but I didn't think about it. Have a safe night and best of luck in the new year.

Liza takes on long distance relationships...of sorts.

Long time, no blog, my loves. Sorry about that. Graduate school and the holidays have been eating my life. Luckily Ms. Waters hasn't let this go completely to crap. :)

First of all I should explain that by "of sorts" I am referring to the fact that the long distance of this relationship is temporary. Winter break has forced one of us (me) back across the big Atlantic Ocean for a month.

Secondly I haven't had a chance to introduce a "new" character in the Liza Meadows story. He's not new, per se, being that we have been friends since my first week in the UK, but he has recently been upgraded in status. We started "seeing" each other a little less than 3 weeks before I left for home. Le Boy, as he shall be referred to-- he's French-- is now somewhat officially my boyfriend, as he has decided to use this term and I haven't felt the need to run away from it. 

I didn't think it would be so hard to be away from someone I had only been seeing for about 2.5 weeks. Then I realised that, for at least the last 1.5 months, we have seen each other every single day. It was weird for me not to see him, and skype didn't wholly solve this issue. However, my real problem is the way it's affecting him. He's a lot more upset by our separation. I absolutely miss him, and all the time, but he is legitimately saddened by the situation. I'm not sure how to handle this because I've never had a guy actually act like he was so into me. I feel bad when my response to his emotions (not that he's being crazy emotional or overly-sentimental-- don't think that's he's crying on skype or something) is a smile or something stupid. I've apparently not been overly-receptive to him a few times on skype. He said I seem annoyed that he wants to talk so much, but I don't mean to because I am more certainly not annoyed by him.

He's also missing certain activities involving the two of us-- if you get my drift-- and I don't feel comfortable remedying this via the internet. I've never been able to be sexy on the internet. I'm not entirely sure I can be sexy in person, but he seems to think so. I'm just not good at it online. I could just say "Listen, that's not going to happen. Stop trying." but I don't want to shut him down when we have almost 3 weeks until we see each other. Then again I'm not sure I'll be able to teach myself how to be good at this before those 3 weeks are up. It's a lose-lose situation. 

I just don't know how people do the long distance thing for real. It's been 2 weeks and if this was for more than a month, I would have already called it quits. It's just too hard.

Robyn Takes On Christmas

So obviously we missed Hanukkah this year, and I apologize. Is it just me or was it crazy early this year? Although it is several weeks late, I still would like to venture to say Happy Hanukkah. I would also love to share some Christmas cheer and humor with you. I'm a bit of a jokester so when my Dad sent me and email full of hilarious Christmas cartoons, I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you.

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. Not because of gifts, that is the last on the list if it even makes it on the list at all (although I love when I get the perfect gift for someone I love!). Christmas Eve is my favorite part of the holiday because my family and I have the tradition of attending a Moravian Lovefeast. Most people probably have no idea what a Lovefeast is, let alone have even heard of the Moravian Church. The Moravian Church originated from Germany and many settled all around America but the largest concentration near me is in Winston-Salem, NC. Every year, on Christmas Eve, they celebrate a Lovefeast where we sing our favorite carols and share a feast together of a bun and coffee served to us by the Dieners in the church. After the feast, once the cups have been taken up, is one of my favorite traditions. The lights in the sanctuary are turned down low and the doors to the hall open up where Dieners, holding hundreds of blazing candles, carry them out into the congregation and pass candles to everyone there. A few weeks prior to the Lovefeast, the church makes the candles from beeswax and the wick is different from most candles. It has been created so that it makes a loop from the base of the candle and so there are two wicks at the tip top of the candle. The significance is that the candle light burns, creating a bond between the two wicks as a never ending loop-and such is Jesus's love for us. As the Moravian lyrics from the song "Morning Star"--"In me shine, Jesus mine." Morning Star is my favorite song because a child from the church sings and the congregation responds. It is such a beautiful song and it is a perfect ending to a beautiful service.

Candlelight Service at a Moravian Church

I love spending time with the family as well...although the extended family is sometimes entirely more than I can handle. But everyone has their family problems and issues, and Christmas is just another time of the year where it is a bit more prevalent than most. Christmas may not be celebrated by all but it is a holiday in the United States whether you like it or not. Plus, sometimes it is nice to have a few days to huddle under some warm blankets and hibernate when the weather is cold outside!

Now, on to the humorous cartoons! I love something funny to laugh at, as I'm sure everyone else does. These were my favorites from the Christmas email. Enjoy and have a very wonderful and Merry Christmas!!

Robyn Takes On Celebrities...

Okay, I am not literally taking on celebrities but I am taking on fame in general. Any time a person gets any teensy bit of fame, they go bonkers and think that the sun rises and sets on them. Obviously not everyone goes over-the-top crazy, but then again how can they help it. They have people following them around all the time taking photographs and are stopped for their autographs or gawked while they walk down the street. And then there are the celebrities who every move, every breath, every moment is captured and watched with scrutinizing detail. It's like the creepy Police song about the stalker watching every breath you take. Honestly I don't give two craps about what some celebrity ate for breakfast or where they hung out last night. Yes, I like looking at the photos of all the pretty people made up at the red carpet events because I wish I constantly had reasons to dress up and look gorgeous like they do. But that's where I draw the line-let private life remain private. Which is why, when I saw this on yahoo's rotation of news stories, I laughed: Digital Death Campaign. The campaign is for a good cause-to raise money for AIDS in Africa-but it is humorous. The premise is, if enough money does not get raised, the celebrities that are participating in the campaign will die a "digital death", so they will no longer tweet, facebook, etc. So...honestly, I wouldn't give money to this particular AIDS campaign for the simple fact that I don't see what is wrong with them not ever posting their private lives again. I mean some celebrities update their statuses hourly, as if someone out there is constantly watching and cares what they do every moment. Especially considering the fact that they complain how the paparazzi constantly dogs them-if you put it out there you are essentially giving the public exactly what you claim you do not want them to know.
I, of course, have a humorous story to follow this up with. I work at a small restaurant in the town I go to college at. I work a couple times a week and we're small enough that there's usually only two or three servers working at a time. Well today an actress from a television show walked in and ate lunch there. I seated her but my coworker served her. I knew who she was, or at least I vaguely remembered her from the show. I mentioned that she was an actress to my coworker after she left and he was like..."No she wasn't...was she?" He had NO IDEA-he had never seen the show before, let alone a commercial for it. Then he followed it up with..."No wonder she acted the way she did." He left her table alone for the most part because he felt she was stuck up and didn't want anyone to bother her. Then he flirted with the older women at the nearby tables and was super friendly to everyone else. He said she must have realized a while in that he had no clue who she was so she pulled a stunner-she pulled her script out. Wow, so you weren't getting enough attention you had to go out of your way so that you make sure that he knows it. He didn't even realize it was a script until she left and I told him who she was but we had a nice laugh about it. If you wanted attention, the restaurant we work at was definitely not the place to come to. Of my coworkers, I was the only one who recognized her and the restaurant usually draws in an older crowd so none of the guests gave her a second look. But who am I to judge? Maybe she really did choose our place because she knew she would probably not be bothered. I'm just glad I wasn't her waitress-I'm too stressed right now with upcoming exams and other stuff to worry about uppity celebrities.

Robyn Takes On Thanksgiving

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving! Although Thanksgiving Day is officially tomorrow in the United States, students across the States have a five-day holiday. Besides, tomorrow is almost here! Liza, Delilah, and I were discussing this particular holiday and agreed that it is the most celebrated holiday in the United States. The other would obviously be the 4th of July but the 4th generally does not constitute a four- or five-day holiday along with a multitude of ceremonious celebrations attached. This discussion stemmed from Liza having to try to explain Thanksgiving to people while she studies abroad and having a hard time getting them to wrap their head around the fact that it is such a huge holiday. Delilah, of course, also had this issue when she studied abroad last spring in Germany. People just don't get how big Thanksgiving Day is for us Americans.
Firstly, Thanksgiving would not be complete without the food: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, peas, casseroles, pies, and the list goes on. It is also a holiday that you spend with others. Usually Christmas or Hanukkah typically involve just close family or even extended family, and is a much more intimate celebration. Thanksgiving meals are spent with family but also family friends as everyone comes together and those that do not have a place to go otherwise are warmly welcomed around the table. And, most importantly, it is the holiday to be thankful for all of the blessings that you have in your life. Be thankful that you have family, albeit a crazy and hectic one, and be thankful that you have friends, even if you don't always see eye-to-eye. A saying my Mom used to tell me comes to the forefront of my mind on this holiday: "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet." Thanksgiving is just that-being thankful for what we have and being mindful that, even if we think we have it bad, someone always has it worse...